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  • Results 1 to 11 of 11
    1. #1

      Join Date
      Jun 14, 2009
      Hi girls. I recently got to Lahore from Canada for my wedding and I've been feeling very overwhelmed by everything. My family is perpetually grumpy and stressed about the details of the wedding... so I'm not having a ball of a time, I'm not really happy, I'm jet lagged, and I just feel like I want this wedding to end because nothing good is coming out of it.
      My fiance and my inlaws are another story. They have become uber competitive about whose dances will be better on the mendi, whose cllothes will look better, who should have more "stage time" on the wedding day... like my MIL told my sister that when my side of the family goes up for the rasams on the mehndi day, they will "open up the food to save time". I know my family won't kill themselves of anger at this... but I'm really frustrated by their overall selfishness.
      I don't know who to bring these issues up with. My fiance and i are supposed to be on an idiotic "mayun" as per the requests of the women on his side of the family... which is why I can't see him and discuss these things with him.
      I did hint at this on the phone, buy my fiance is so LOST IN HIS BUBBLE of self righteousness and obsession with being the "chief guest" at the wedding and mehndi, that he doesn't really understand how much all this is getting to me.
      Moreover, I'm getting all these "naseehatain" from aunties all over the place about how I should shut up and swallow my worries because my JOB as the wife is to be a perpetual source of happiness, love and peace for my husband. (not sure what HIS JOB is on the other hand).
      is this normal?
      I'm really unhappy and I hate this feeling.

    2. #2
      Moderator Wedding and Parenting Forum

      somegroovychick's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 9, 2007
      Toronto, Canada
      *hugs* i'm sorry, hon. i'm not sure what to say other than hang in there. weddings make everyone a little crazy and its easy to forget about the two most important people there!
      Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.
      - Nehru

    3. #3
      Junior Member

      Join Date
      Oct 5, 2009
      oh god thats sad to hear..i hate this so much...everything there is a wedding then there must be some problems also..anyway dear, dont be stress...just forget these all and think about the good things..like about your dress, jewellery, make up etc..

      well i was wondering what is this rasam like the guy and girl cant meet..is it like before wedding, the girl and guy cant meet until nikah or wat

    4. #4
      Junior Member

      Littleangel's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 1, 2008
      Your situation is so similar to mine when i went to pakistan for my wedding. I had the exact same feelings that you are describing... stupid problems with in-laws over arrangements, family being too stressed out over wedding preps, me not being able to talk to my fiance at the time, even the mehndi dance stuff.. basically i went thorough ALL of it. My advice is just try to keep your calm and don't let it get to you. I know it can be tough but hang in there.. because at the end of the day you're only making yourself miserable and not enjoying these precious moments. (the pre-wedding days) Trust me when the day finally arrives all this won't even matter... and Inshallah everything will go as you planned. So don't worry...try to relax and enjoy

    5. #5
      just another member.....

      Muzna's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 1, 1970
      in a dark, dark room, down a dark, dark stair.....
      its a stressful time and it may not be going as you had planned........I would say that you take as much time as you can to spend in solitude.

      enjoy your time alone and pamper yourself......

    6. #6
      Senior Member

      monster's Avatar
      Join Date
      May 18, 2008
      say "dafa durr" to worries! cheer up!! coz YOU are the real Chief Guest!!
      "Your friends R your worst enemies"

    7. #7
      Junior Member

      Join Date
      Dec 27, 2009
      Try not to let yourself get stressed. Good luck with the wedding!!

    8. #8
      Free As A Bird

      sazzie's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 15, 2007
      The Faraway Tree
      Try and relax, easier said than done, but try! cos like littleangel said, these are to be precious memories later, so try to enjoy them as much as possible, savour them
      'The past cannot be changed, the future is still in your power'
      'Seems like all I really was doing was waiting for you'
      'The cock croweth but the hen delivereth the goods'

    9. #9

      Join Date
      Mar 16, 2003
      This is what happens when you go for complicated / complex weddings which are basically all for 'show'.

      Sadly, you'll just have to put up with it because you alone cannot take on 2 families & all the individuals involved in their battle for wedding supremacy!

    10. #10
      Senior Member

      xjatti2khanx's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 2, 2009
      ^^ if u cant give the girl positive advice why give any at all?? that too when she is

      already stressed and has a day or so to her wedding!!

      how insensitive can any1 get!

      @ saratem >> i know it gets really stressful near to the big day, but trust me when the big day arrives none of all this will matter, just ignore them and enjoy ur pre wedding time

      Just remember none of them will matter, U AND HIM are the ones that matter and will shine on the day... so good luck and enjoy ur wedding and start of your new life together.
      Dream as you'll live forever...live as you will die today....

    11. #11
      Senior Member

      monster's Avatar
      Join Date
      May 18, 2008
      Everything will be fine!
      "Your friends R your worst enemies"

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